Where am I at now? Hmm. I was hoping to jump back into drawing today, but it didn't quite click. A model which I was in tuned to drawing before just didn't give me the same inspiration today. Next best thing was to draw another artist painting across the room. All it took was a swoop stroke in her hair to motivate me to get "something" down on paper.
The sunshine was beautiful today and the weather was behaving as if it was still early fall. I regretted not taking a trip to Palette & Chisel just to run away from everything that is in my mind right now. However, I would have missed the story from the lady above about when a robber with a speech impediment tried to rob her when she wasn't wearing her hearing aid. Lots of laughs at Bill's Restaurant today.
The job search deal has been a constant battle. A long battle that I will not give up. I have work now but its not work that will allow me to stand on my own two feet again. You take what you can get then you pray and work hard to get something better before time runs out. That is the place I am in. A couple doors have finally opened in these past weeks but I must remain tenacious about my drive.
In past years I've gotten so happy about jobs that eventually didn't pan out. I am learning to pull back a bit until I get the final word. My current high is just being "seen" and not feeling like I am in a repetitive limbo with no means of escape. At this point, it is up to me to move in the right direction.
I must take today to memorize lines and blocking for my theater class. The final class will be an onstage performance in mid March. Once I've complete it, I can say I conquered a fear. The next one to conquer is attempting open improv again with the veterans. No need to stop pushing myself now, right? Being an introvert has become boring.
